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5 Things not to say to someone who’s making a healthy life change

28 November, 2014 by Giselle Rochford 51 Comments

Hey Friends! How’s it goin?

I’ve been sick all week and I’m swamped by last minute assignments so I didn’t have anything planned for today’s pos. And now, it’s the middle of the night and I’m just sitting down to start writing. So, things are about to get sarcastic and a little snarky cuz that’s what happens when I’m tired. You’ve been warned.

5 things you should never tell anyone who works out, is on a diet, or is trying to get healthy via @ExSloth | ExSloth.com

Back when I first started working out, eating healthy and attempting to become and ExSloth, I had a lot of unnecessary commentary from the people in my life. Not everyone of course. There were A LOT of supportive people, but there were also some people who just couldn’t handle the fact that I now enjoyed being a healthier person. These are some of the ‘best’ ones I got.

5 things not to say to someone who works out or is on a diet #fitshaming #fitfluential

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1. It’ll never work, so you should just stop

Sorry, did I miss your graduation from the fortune teller academy?

You’re basically calling the person a failure before they even begin. Not cool. You know that saying ‘you can do anything you want to if you put your mind to it’? Well, it doesn’t have conditions. There is no fine print. Especially when it comes to health. If someone is determined to get healthy they will. How about you try being supportive instead of tearing them down, yea?

2. One [insert junk food here] won’t hurt

So explain that time I ate all the birthday brownies. And cookies. And Fries.

We’re all different. Some people may be able to eat all things in moderation but not everyone is like that. I try not to put limitations on my food because that’s direct link to cravings for me. But I have trigger foods. Foods that will send me spiralling into unhealthy eating and I try to stay away from those foods as much as I can. So you’re wrong; one McDonald’s fry will hurt.

3. You don’t look any different

Because progress is supposed to be instant?

I got this one a lot the first year I started working out, before I changed my diet. I originally started working out because I felt gross. I was sluggish. My bones hurt. I couldn’t run 100 yards. I wanted to feel my age, not a million years older. But that does’t mean that offhand comments about how much weight I wasn’t loosing didn’t hurt. Like with #1, words matter. Someone embarking on a journey as scary as changing their entire lifestyle needs your support, not careless words. 

4. You don’t want to get too big

What is too big? What scale are you using to measure this ‘too-biggedness’ by? Is there a secret bicep to height ratio I never heard about?

Seriously though, I work out for me. Because it make me feel good. Because I enjoy the endorphins. The rush of power. The feeling of competence. And yes the gains. What I do not do, is work out for anyone else. Yes, it’s nice to get the occasional compliment, but other people’s opinions are not the reasons I go back to the gym week after week. So you can decide what is too big for you, and I’ll decide for me. Sounds good?

5. Men don’t like women who:

Are too big. Are too small. Eat too much. Eat too little. Are too strong. Have callouses. 

Yes. Someone actually told me to get gloves because callouses aren’t cute. Because my sole purpose in life is to find a man who wants me for my silky smooth, callous-less hands. Puh-lease. 

More Sleep Deprived Rants:

True life of a food blogger = lots & lots of recipe failures via @ExSloth | ExSloth.com
Food Blogger Problems: Recipe Failures
Gym Selfies, Social Media and Becoming an Adult
Christmas Displays, Swearing and Being yourself

What about you?

What comments did or do you get about your lifestyle and habits? Anything to rant about today?

Share in the comments below!
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Linking up with: #FFavorites, Fitness Friday, Friday Five, Thinking out Loud

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Comments

  1. Mary Beth Jackson says

    28 November, 2014 at 8:30 am

    Love it! I like the men don’t like women who…….. people say the funniest things!

    Reply
  2. Linda @ TheFitty says

    28 November, 2014 at 8:47 am

    THIS.

    EVERYTHING. ABOUT. THIS.
    Linda @ TheFitty recently posted…December Challenge–Are You IN?

    Reply
  3. Erin @ The Almond Eater says

    28 November, 2014 at 8:52 am

    Yes yes yes and yes–these are all really good points. I think it can be hard to want to change and become healthier when you don’t have support. However, I do think most people should be (and will be) happy when they see how a healthily lifestyle makes you feel aka amazing!
    Erin @ The Almond Eater recently posted…Leftover Turkey with Rosemary Vegetables

    Reply
    • Giselle Rochford says

      11 December, 2014 at 9:56 am

      True! A lot of these comments came early on. But I still have ‘friends’ to take jabs at my lifestyle now and then. Ah well, comes with the territory I guess.

      Reply
  4. Jennifer Andrews says

    28 November, 2014 at 9:19 am

    Love this! I think when people say these things, they’re realizing that their own diet or lifestyle needs improvement. Maybe there’s a bit of jealousy there. It almost starts to resemble peer pressure – “oh come on, just have a bite!”
    Jennifer Andrews recently posted…Thanksgiving Week 2014: Menu & Wrap-Up

    Reply
    • Giselle Rochford says

      11 December, 2014 at 9:57 am

      Yes! My mother never warned me about peer pressure with respect to food, but it’s definitely a thing…

      Reply
  5. Lacey@fairytalesandfitness says

    28 November, 2014 at 9:34 am

    Being supportive to those who are on a fitness journey is so important.
    Lacey@fairytalesandfitness recently posted…Simple ways EVERYONE can show a little Gratitude this season

    Reply
  6. jess meddows says

    28 November, 2014 at 9:35 am

    Right on, Giselle! People are just so inconsiderate with what comes out of their mouth sometimes, that I just wonder what goes on in their heads. Being vegan I get a LOT of really daft comments about how I eat and whether or not people think it’s healthy for me.
    jess meddows recently posted…One King West Hotel Toronto

    Reply
    • Giselle Rochford says

      11 December, 2014 at 9:59 am

      I’m dairy free now, and not by choice, and my family STILL has things to say about it. How can you live without cheese, you won’t get enough calcium without milk yada yada yada. Not the same as being vegan, but I can only imagine the things people say…

      Reply
  7. Anna (Hidden Ponies) says

    28 November, 2014 at 10:00 am

    YES! All so true. #5 makes me craaazy – I just heard that one in relation to getting a funky colour in my hair too and had to roll my eyes…as a married mother of 4 I don’t really care what men like, aside from my husband 🙂
    Anna (Hidden Ponies) recently posted…Pumpkin Cake with Chocolate Chip Streusel

    Reply
    • Giselle Rochford says

      11 December, 2014 at 10:00 am

      I positioned this about health and fitness but it’s true. People love to comment on things that women do and how men will or won’t appreciate them. Makes me want to scream sometimes!

      Reply
  8. Farrah says

    28 November, 2014 at 10:14 am

    You know I agree the crap out of this entire post! ;P
    Farrah recently posted…Foodie Friday: Pumpkin Pie Bars

    Reply
    • Giselle Rochford says

      11 December, 2014 at 10:01 am

      haha yep! You totally sparked this one 😀

      Reply
  9. Chelsea @ Chelsea's Healthy Kitchen says

    28 November, 2014 at 11:47 am

    I just don’t understand why other people feel the need to comment on other people’s lifestyles so much… especially when the comments are unhelpful/rude!

    One comment I hated when I was trying to get healthier was when someone would speak up for me at dinners/potlucks and say “Oh, Chelsea doesn’t eat that” (ie. butter, ice cream, fried foods, whatever food they were talking about). That drove me NUTS because even though I was trying to eat healthier, that doesn’t mean I necessarily wanted to eat healthy 100% of the time. Whether or not I ate a food was up to ME, not up to them.
    Chelsea @ Chelsea’s Healthy Kitchen recently posted…Ham and cheddar strata

    Reply
    • Giselle Rochford says

      11 December, 2014 at 10:05 am

      Totally understand! I hate when I decide to treat myself or just eat something people assume I don’t like chocolate or cake and they’re all like: ‘Didn’t realise you ate those kinds of things” in their sarcastic voices. Ugh

      Reply
  10. Lauren @ The Bikini Experiment says

    28 November, 2014 at 11:57 am

    Good post! I actually think it does not get acknowledged enough how hard it is to continue to make health changes without support. And honestly, people do not always get it from those closest to them. Thanks for sharing and enjoy your weekend! Get some sleep. 🙂
    Lauren @ The Bikini Experiment recently posted…11/28: Friday’s Favorite Things

    Reply
    • Giselle Rochford says

      11 December, 2014 at 10:18 am

      This is so true. I was so worried about my family pushing food at me when I went home for Christmas last year but while my extended family behaved as I expected, my parents and siblings were really supportive and ended up eating whatever I cooked for myself. They’re already messaging me with requests of things they want remade. I know for a fact that it would have been horrible trying to stay on track if they weren’t so supportive for those 2 weeks.

      Reply
  11. Candice @ Everybody Loves Pretty says

    28 November, 2014 at 12:43 pm

    This is too true!!! I hate it when people say “you don’t want to get too big because you are a girl”… trust me girls, lifting weights will not make you huge, it will make you toned and stronger and feel awesome!! 🙂
    Candice @ Everybody Loves Pretty recently posted…Beet, Lentil and Orange Quinoa Salad

    Reply
  12. Pamela Hernandez says

    28 November, 2014 at 12:53 pm

    How much weight have you lost?

    I hate it when husbands ask my female clients this. I am trying to get their focus off they scale and they put extra pressure and focus by asking this questions all the time!

    Reply
    • Giselle Rochford says

      11 December, 2014 at 10:21 am

      YES!!!! I actually have no idea what I weigh right now and I only step on the scale every couple of months. I hated being a slave to those numbers and people asking that question brings up all those negative emotions. Plus, don’t people know it’s rude to ask a lady her weight? haha

      Reply
  13. Ange @ Cowgirl Runs says

    28 November, 2014 at 1:07 pm

    Guuuurl. I hope you punched who ever said “guys don’t like girls who….” what BS is that. Ugh. People.
    🙂
    Ange @ Cowgirl Runs recently posted…Pinterest for Bloggers

    Reply
  14. Ree says

    28 November, 2014 at 2:28 pm

    Yes to all of this!!! And who can eat just one McDonald’s fry? I mean…come on! 🙂
    Ree recently posted…painted popcorn garland + holiday popcorn recipes

    Reply
  15. Sara @ Lake Shore Runner says

    28 November, 2014 at 3:58 pm

    This is great! I really do not like when people say 1 piece of junk food won’t hurt. Duhhh….but I just don’t want that junk food because 1) I know it won’t make me feel good 2.) It won’t satisfy me 3.) I would rather eat another piece of junk food that I would enjoy rather than this junk food. 4.) Mind your own business!

    Love the sarcasm too!
    Sara @ Lake Shore Runner recently posted…Thanksgiving at the Crandall’s & Turkey Trot Recap [Favorite Race]

    Reply
    • Giselle Rochford says

      11 December, 2014 at 10:23 am

      I’m so with you on number 3. Maybe I want a Snickers bar instead of that Twix they’re tryna shove down my throat.. Bet they never thought of that lol

      Reply
  16. diane@runninrocker says

    28 November, 2014 at 4:00 pm

    Haha you made me laugh! I especially know that feeling when someone is telling me how I have been running so much but looking at me like “You really run that much? Well you don’t look any skinnier”.. . They just don’t get it, none of it!
    diane@runninrocker recently posted…Friday Five: Gratitude

    Reply
    • Giselle Rochford says

      11 December, 2014 at 10:25 am

      I had this happen a lot early on when I started lifting. Not sure when it became acceptable to comment on someone’s weight. Whether or not I’m running or lifting to lose weight or just because it makes me feel awesome, commenting on weight is just plain rude. Hello, feelings? They’re a thing lol

      Reply
  17. Leah @ love me, feed me says

    28 November, 2014 at 4:51 pm

    This post is fantastic. I’m pretty sure I’ve heard all of these things and they seriously drive me crazy. I haven’t eaten meat for 8 years now and am now vegan and my family still hasn’t dropped the “want some steak” jokes. I also had guy reply “wow do you like curl water bottles? You’re so small” when I told him I lifted weights. Uhhhh exsqueeeeeze me!
    Leah @ love me, feed me recently posted…Gingerbread Mug Cake with Cranberry Compote

    Reply
    • Giselle Rochford says

      11 December, 2014 at 10:25 am

      Oh, that water bottle one is rudeeee. I hope you punched him out with your ‘small’ muscles haha

      Reply
  18. Mar @ Mar on the Run says

    28 November, 2014 at 5:38 pm

    LOVE. this! I was once told I run too much. As if sitting around all day is a fancy lifestyle choice? look, you do you and I’ll do me. Running has done so much to enhance my life and ring me like minded friends that one lazy person’s opinion doesn’t matter! great post.
    Mar @ Mar on the Run recently posted…Friday Five: Today I Am Thankful…

    Reply
    • Giselle Rochford says

      11 December, 2014 at 10:27 am

      LOL @ sitting around all day is a fancy lifestyle choice.
      It’s always the people who aren’t doing anything that have the opinion eh?

      Reply
  19. Michelle @ Vitamin Sunshine says

    28 November, 2014 at 6:05 pm

    These are hilarious! I’ve been into a healthy lifestyle– pretty much my whole life. Began running and going to the gym at 15, and haven’t stopped- have always been a healthy cook and eater– and I still get these comments! It’s hilarious when people use that “one won’t hurt” line– because the truth is, it probably won’t– but that’s not what it’s about. It doesn’t make me feel good, and I don’t even want “one”!
    Michelle @ Vitamin Sunshine recently posted…Greek Yogurt Pumpkin Cheesecake with Gingersnap Crust

    Reply
    • Giselle Rochford says

      11 December, 2014 at 10:28 am

      Ugh, I was hoping it would get better with time but if you’re still getting the comments then I have no hope lol

      Reply
  20. Courtney @ Eat Pray Run DC says

    28 November, 2014 at 10:16 pm

    truth. 🙂
    Courtney @ Eat Pray Run DC recently posted…Friday Five: Gratitude

    Reply
  21. GiGi Eats says

    28 November, 2014 at 11:09 pm

    MY LIFE – one bite. one bite.

    YES ONE BITE WILL KILL ME. K. Thanks!
    GiGi Eats recently posted…Maria Menounos, Thank You!

    Reply
  22. jill conyers says

    29 November, 2014 at 1:58 am

    My daughter is very athletic and loves to be active but #5 comes up in conversations I have with her and her friends. High school boys are very vocal about girls being too muscular. And their idea of too muscular is very minimal muscle. Drives me crazy!
    jill conyers recently posted…5 Things Friday

    Reply
    • Giselle Rochford says

      11 December, 2014 at 10:30 am

      High school boys are brutal. I have a lot of male friends and it’s amazing to see how their opinions change as they get older. Hopefully your daughter and her friends realise that those boys have it wrong, and their opinion shouldn’t matter anyway!

      Reply
  23. Jen @ Pretty Little Grub says

    29 November, 2014 at 10:41 am

    Totally agree with these! It’s so frustrating when you hear these things. It’s also sad that we always tend to tear others down to make ourselves feel better. I’ve learned to brush off these type of comments now because I know they are usually coming from a place of jealousy.
    Jen @ Pretty Little Grub recently posted…FYI Friday – FIT CHICKS recap & giveaway

    Reply
  24. Deborah @ Confessions of a Mother Runner says

    29 November, 2014 at 11:25 am

    It is hard and I think people often say things without thinking not realizing how hurtful their comments can be. I hope they don’t intentionally try to derail us! Keep on!
    Deborah @ Confessions of a Mother Runner recently posted…Gift Guide Stay Warm & Skirt Sports Giveaway

    Reply
    • Giselle Rochford says

      11 December, 2014 at 10:32 am

      I think there are both actually. Some people genuinely don’t realise how hurtful they’re being (which is it’s own issue) but other people just want to bring us down cuz it’s coming from a place of jealousy.
      Both still suck tho

      Reply
  25. Kelsey @ Snacking Squirrel says

    30 November, 2014 at 5:11 pm

    these are goood!!!

    Reply
  26. Gabby says

    2 December, 2014 at 11:13 pm

    This post is gold, especially the last line and the fortune teller comment. You had me crackin up girl. It is all so true too.

    Reply
  27. Cynthia @ You Signed Up For WHAT?! says

    3 December, 2014 at 12:27 am

    #2 #2 #2!!! I get this all the time. What’s one cookie, they say? Well, when you’re struggling one cookie can really derail you. If i”m on track and feeling in control about things, one cookie is no big deal!
    Cynthia @ You Signed Up For WHAT?! recently posted…Tri Talk Tuesday: Triathlon Race Season Planning

    Reply
  28. Aine @ Awkward Irish Girl Blogs says

    6 December, 2014 at 3:17 pm

    Love this! Haha, escaping men who care that much about the smoothness of your hands is probably a blessing in disguise 😉
    Aine @ Awkward Irish Girl Blogs recently posted…Thinking Out Loud

    Reply
  29. Jenn - a traveling Wife says

    17 November, 2015 at 7:47 am

    This is hilarious, yet so true! One way to set someone up for failure is to open your mouth. 🙂
    Jenn – a traveling Wife recently posted…Seafood Made Easy: 3-Ingredient Dinner In Under 30 Minutes

    Reply
  30. Liz @ The Clean Eating Couple says

    17 November, 2015 at 12:00 pm

    Yes. Yes. and MORE YES. There is nothing I hate more than these 5 phrases. Especially the last two. I’ll get as ‘big’ as I please, and I don’t really care who likes me or not!
    Liz @ The Clean Eating Couple recently posted…The Clean Eating Couple Takes on Italy – Part 2

    Reply
  31. Shannon @GirlsGotSole says

    17 November, 2015 at 7:06 pm

    Oh yes, I’ve heard most, if not all of these before. The biggest of which is the “one won’t hurt” when it comes to having some sort of food that is at an office party, etc. People just don’t always get it. I had to learn to shrug a lot of it off. I still get some talk as I’m also a vegan.
    Shannon @GirlsGotSole recently posted…I’m a BibRave Pro!

    Reply

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